Judy

My routine has had to adjust now that I have been volunteering at the Nature Park. Instead of doing my hexercises (spells plus running) whilst the British self improvement shows are on, I have been bonding with Judge Judy. I both admire and envy her.

Yesterday I so recognised the people she was dealing with, as would any person who has worked in state education, and probably any police officer. The 'plaintiff' was you or me, ordinary person just going about the daily grind. The 'defendant' was a boy of around the age of 13, accompanied by his mother. British friends will understand this although it will probably be meaningless to Canadian ones, the mum was most likely called Tiffany. The boy had thrown a rock (stone to us) at the woman's car, causing damage.

Judge Judy has this way of looking at the people she doesn't trust, and granted, when you do your teacher training, they do actually teach you 'the look'. But Judge Judy fixes her gaze on them and then does some kind of snake trick with her neck so that she is looking at them sideways with her lips pursed. I love this woman.

Why I envy her is that when the people start talking out of turn, she can bang the desk and say loudly, 'LISTEN TO ME.' And if they don't - they're out. We of course were able to do that with kids, not so easy with parents.

So the kid tells Judge Judy that he was just throwing a pine cone at the Burger King sign. Judge Judy is allowed to yell at him that he's A LIAR. And we all know why. The mum tells Judge Judy that her boy is intimidated. Do me a favour. Out of these two statements, the good judge manages to find the truth. Police and teachers could do the same thing, but we always have to do it under fire.

Did the kid tell the mum he'd thrown a pine cone? No, he told her he hadn't thrown anything.
Had the kid ever been suspended from school? Yes, three times. WELL THEN HE ISN'T INTIMIDATED BY AUTHORITY.
Judge Judy, like any teacher, knows that normal, non-troublemaking kids don't throw things at signs, so another red flag there. And the woman had pictures of the damage to her car. Since the boy had already been shown to be a troublemaker and a liar, he was bang to rights. 'We're done here,' says the judge, I always love it when she says that, as though she had been allowing them a little playfulness but now she was tired of the game.

The boy, sulky face, spiked up hair even for court, goes off scowling, the mum goes off whingeing about her son's innocence and how Judge Judy hadn't listened. FANtastic. Loving it. For all the times I have had to stay polite and calm whilst some parent has told me garbage about their kid, or tried to lawyer me, or told me that my staff are lying because the kid's best friend said differently, or insisted that my staff aren't doing enough when they are working 70 hour weeks, Judge Judy restores a tiny drop of karma. I want to sit and chant 'Judy, Judy, Judy,' but of course, Judy isn't Jerry, she really does mete out justice, and when it's rough justice, she tells you that's what you're getting.