Rule Britannia

No news from England about the new baby yet, Sue is tired, Austen must be too, tomorrow morning Sue will go in to be induced.

The talk yesterday evening turned to passports. It seems that certain countries will not accept visitors who have less than six months left on their passport even if the length of stay is much shorter than that. Of course no-one tells you that until you turn up for your flight.
The Canadian passport lasts for five years, so this brings it down effectively to four and a half, depending on where you are travelling to.
The British passport for an adult last for ten years, and when I renewed mine last year, since it still had a few months to run on the old one, this time was added on.
I mention all of this because the UK passport authority have undergone some kind of miraculous change over the past three or so years.
I can't remember exactly when, but maybe about four years ago, things were dire if you needed to get a passport or get it renewed, bear in mind that most Brits do have one because we still technically need it even to go to the rest of Europe. They were taking six weeks plus, the Passport Authority were snowed under, people were having difficulty getting their passports back in time for their holidays, it was an unholy mess.
By the time I needed to renew mine, it had become a slick operation. The Post Office now offer a checking service for a fixed low fee of £5. Once they have checked everything that's it. You can buy a special envelope for the return of your original documents and when you send the application you are given a tracking number.
Two weeks to the day, I had my new passport, a week earlier I had received all my original docs back.
How did they get so efficient? No, I seriously don't know, did the government throw cash at them, did they have some bureaucracy Czar in? Whatever it was, it has been an amazing success and if the formula can be applied elsewhere it damned well should be. Incidentally, I needed to change the name on my driving licence, and although I was annoyed at having to send off my original birth certificate as soon as it came back from the Passport Office, that was equally quick and efficient.

Inside my passport it says that 'Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary'.
Now I read this as if anyone harms me then Her Majesty's Navy will be steaming right out to sort them out, don't you think? Of course it would be the navy because they rule the waves and because there is so much evidence of them where I lived in Portsmouth. Well, duh, home of the British Navy.
I think I'd most welcome HMS Warrior, an impressive warship commissioned in 1860, to come and protect me. I would expect the flags flying from all masts to be sending some suitable message of annoyance that one of Her Majesty's subjects had been mistreated. And I expect the cannons to be checked first.

Last year we had ships from many nations in Portsmouth Harbour for some ongoing celebration which seemed to last for at least a fortnight and which included the celebration of Nelson's victory at Trafalgar - in spite of Trafalgar day being on the 23rd of October. There were sailors from all nations including Canada and the United States. Now I say this not as a joke or in any way meaning to offend anyone's sensibilities, but how do you tell the difference between a Canadian and a US naval personnel? Ok, well you may be able to tell the difference between accents of course, and you may find some lapel pin of a maple leaf even on the civvies of the Canadian, but the real answer is the colour.
During my time in Portsmouth, there were two occasions when we had US naval ships in. 3,000 sea men and women disembarked the first time, drank Portsmouth dry of Budweiser would you believe and the shops and restaurants suddenly took US dollars. However all of the personnel that I saw were black, and this on both occasions. I have no idea why this might be and I'm not going to offer any smarmy answers, just the simple observation.

I certainly wouldn't hold my breath for Her Majesty of His Tonyness to send the Navy out to rescue me in distress, and I do try to behave myself so that they don't have to, but I did feel suddenly proud to hold such a document. As a point of interest, the Canadian passport has almost the same wording, but in both languages and without the all important "require".