Sacred Cow

In Lahore, a couple has been gaoled because they lied about the husband's gender. Well, not lied exactly, just didn't give the answer the Law there required. The husband had been born a woman and had undergone two transgender surgeries. This apparently offended both Pakistani and Islamic Law.
I think someone should get in touch with their god occasionally.

Meanwhile, in Blighty, Cambridge's new mayor and mayoress are a lesbian transgender couple. I don't know what that means, did they both start out male and are both now female or t'other way round? It doesn't really matter of course, except that I would argue that we get rid of the term mayoress. Mayor and partner would cover all eventualities.

What I would say however, is that we should continue to play cricket with Cambridge, but not with Pakistan, not until they stop being stupid anyway.

In any case, it wasn't cricket, but the female orgasm I wanted to write about. It kind of becomes more important with transgender surgery.

Last week, Sleepy sent me a light-hearted article in which the writer tested out a new diet supposed to restore a woman's orgasms in two weeks. I'm sure we can all remember when Sex and the City's Samantha lost hers. For the life of me however I can't remember how she got them back, nor do I particularly care since it was a TV show and thus at the whim of the writers.

The female orgasm is a feminist Holy Cow. As in Holy Cow! That was amazing! Or..not.
The question, 'why do women have them?' seems insulting all on its own, but it does kind of open a can of worms.
There have been many theories.

'Because we're essentially the same, slightly modified but the same.'
'But in Nature,' oh... whenever, 'but in nature' rears its ugly head there's going to be trouble, 'in nature, other female primates don't have orgasms, so why do women?'
Then...
'Oops! Seems they do...just, only with other females.'
'Er...what? Hmm...that kinda hoops the whole 'homosexuality is against nature' argument!'
'Pretty much, yep.'
Try a different tack then....

'It's needed to persuade women to have babies...'
'Hmmm...not so much, in societies where women's ability to experience orgasm is removed by men, fertility is higher,'
'Yeah, but that's just stoopid, in those places, women are repressed, deprived of personal freedom,'
'Sure, but orgasms don't result in increased childbirth.'

'Ah...but....they do increase the chances of conception, research shows that, if a woman climaxes just before or after her male partner ejaculates, the cervix dips to allow more sperm in,'
'Well, hmm..yes, interesting. So what you're saying is that in societies where women have more freedom, the rate of childbirth often goes down,'
'It does seem that way, yes,'
'But then women are more empowered in their relationships,'
'Stands to reason, yes,'
'So.....then they demand to have their sexual...whatevers...met,'
'That....kinda describes it, in a lame, inadequate way, yes,'
'And when women have the sex they want, then men do too,'
'Well, yes, unless the sex men want is the unpleasant non-consensual kind,'
'True, of course, that's true, but as a general rule...'
'Sure, as a general rule.....'
'So then men and women are having MORE sex, possibly, but fewer babies....'
'As you say, possibly,'
'So when they do decide to sprog, the female orgasm, so well-practised by then, actually helps them to conceive,'
'Mmmmm...well, it's a thought,'
'Yes, just a thought,'
'So.....is a more egalitarian society kind of...part of evolution?'
'Interesting, you mean, because there's already something in our bodies to deal with just such an eventuality?'
'Sort of, yes,'

'Of course, there was that theory that the female orgasm was designed to prompt women to mate with as many different partners as possible, so that each would search out the best orgasm, then men wouldn't kill the offspring because no-one would know whose was whose...'
'Seems a bit unlikely,'
'Yeah, it does really, men don't normally go around doing that anyway, that's more.... lions,'
'So when was that theory around?'
'70's I think,'
'Mmm...bit post-hippy, maybe some bad drugs,'
'Who knows?'
'Yeah, who knows?'

'Fancy trying the diet then?'
'Any drinking involved?'
'Er...nope, some choccy though,'
'Yeah, go on then, any excuse to eat chocolate.'
'And if it doesn't work, then at least you can have more chocolate,'
'Exactomundo,'
'So do you need this diet?'
'Not really, just want an excuse for more choccy,'
'Good point.'