Mayday

May the first, May Day, Bank Holiday in Britain, could be the whole of the UK for all I know. Not here though. Poo. I used to really like the May Day Bank Holiday because it was effectively the only one we got in education. All the others were hidden somewhere in our 'holidays'. Not May Day. That snook up on you and there you were with a four day week and a long weekend, meaning that you gained Sunday, a day normally spent in a blue funk.

It is excessively windy today, bright and sunny, but the trees in the Nature Park were leaning in towards one another and groaning. Three healthy-looking tomato plants that survived Saturday's cold rain have perished in today's wind, and cycling was almost impossible in places.

Yesterday though, we watched a LOT of TV. A new series that we have caught just a couple of episodes of, is 'Big Love' about a polygamous mormon family in Utah. Here lies insanity. The family has three houses joined together and the father, played by Bill Paxton, has three wives, one of whom he loves and actually wants to have sex with. His parents come to stay, but his father, played by Bruce Dern, has four wives. This bunch of people around the table at Easter is more nightmarish than anything that ever came from the mind of Stephen King. There is more tension than in Palestine, and all the younger wives keep trying to remind everyone that they must all get along and that it's Easter, yadayada, you know the drill. Paxton's character's brother secretly confesses that he loves his wife Wanda and doesn't want to take another wife,
'You're monogamous? asks Paxton, almost wincing.
To cope with all his obligations, Paxton's character has been taking four times the maximum dose of Viagra, several times a day, and he is having difficulty seeing and thinks he is having a heart attack.

Anthony Soprano junior is experiencing similar symptoms as the last series of 'the Sopranos' winds itself gracefully to an end, there must be maybe three episodes left. He passes out in a public toilet, like you do, and we wonder whether maybe he is experiencing the same anxiety attacks that introduced us to Tony and Dr. Melfi in the first series.
Vito is in self-imposed exile as a result of his homosexuality, and Tony, mellowed from the shooting, wondering where Vito might be, tells his Capos,
'Rear-ending, it's a victimless crime really.'
Anthony Junior has bizarrely swift growing hair in this episode, one moment short, next, on a boat with Tony, shoulder length again, then back to short. Convenient skill to have if you ask me.

Ali-G last night, got Pat Buchanan to admit that Iraq had used BLT's on its Kurds. He wasn't sure whether mustard was involved, so Ali-G assumed it must have just been the plain ones. Borat accompanied a candidate for election to the House of Representatives round on the Hustings. His face showed more pain that you would believe a human face could register when Borat informed a voter that the candidate had never, ever 'done it with a man, not even a man dressed as a woman.' I guess he can't lead the British liberal party then. The guy looked as though he had a mouth full of those really acid sweets that always take you by surprise. Borat told the voter that the man had huge, 'how you say, khrumm,' - testicles - and invites the voter to feel them for himself. The candidate thinks that isn't appropriate in the United States. Really? Hrmmmph, maybe one or two people need to be held by the short and curlies.

Speaking of whom, what greater nightmare could there be than to go out to dinner and to discover that there are not one but two George Bushes. Oivey, that'd make you call out 'mayday, mayday!!!!'