Heat

Holy cow it has been hot here, today we have some respite in the form of a bit of cloud cover and a slight breeze.

Yesterday, Simmi, who reads the right-wing press so that I don't have to ;) sent me the Daily Mail's take on a patronising little bit of research that is today reported equally annoyingly, in less right-wing organs.

One of the compulsory components of my MA course was Research Methods and I did have to teach the Scientific Method paper when I taught A-level Philosophy, so deep down I do appreciate that all research is useful in some way, so long as it is ethically conducted. But yet it still aggravates me no end that money is spent on reaching conclusions like this.

The Daily Mail, or Daily Nazi as Simmi appropriately calls it, claims 'Hot Water Bottle Really does ease Period Pain.' Thank Goodness someone wasted money checking that 'old wives' tale' out. Believe it or not it was the Guardian that called it that.

Now, to my mind, an old wives' tale is something like 'rub a potato on a wart and bury it in the garden when the moon is full'. Whereas using a hottle to ease period pain is something that all women KNOW works.
The Daily Mail says, "The research will be welcomed by millions of women who suffer debilitating period pains, which can leave them bedridden." Get outta here! Are we all sitting around waiting for someone to tell us it works? Uh...no. And here's more news for ya GUYS, it wouldn't do squat diddly for debilitating pain. But we feel so much better now.
And all of that is without mentioning the fact that Boots LONG since brought out a self-heating pad that sticks to your tummy and can be used during the first couple of days of your period.

But perhaps the research itself isn't to blame, but rather the reporting thereof. Well, that wouldn't be a first.
Net Doctor tells us that the research shows that "hot water bottles were effective in killing period pains on a molecular level – in much the same way as drugs such as paracetamol. "
Well, ok, but now I have a new question that I really don't want researched. If, as the Guardian says, "if heat of more than 40C (104F) is applied to the skin near where internal pain is felt, it switches on heat receptors at the site of injury. These in turn block the body's ability to detect pain." then how come burning people at the stake was such a brutal and horrifyingly painful end, and why are burns victims in so much agony that they have to be kept in a coma sometimes until healing is well on its way? Well I guess the answer is that the skin, with all its pain receptors is actually being denatured rather than gently heated or something along those lines.

The next thing the article claims is that the hottle can work for other gyne problems such as cystitis. Do me a favour. The pain in cystitis is from the two walls of the urinary tract being inflamed and touching each other. The other pain possible is due to the infection having spread to the kidneys, calling for immediate use of antibiotics and opiates. In the first instance, I'm not buying that the pain can be relieved by using a hottle. No Ma'am. You can tell me all the science you like, a hottle bottle is not going to relieve that inflamation the way a good old-fashioned delivered-by-mouth painkiller can and in the second instance, if it did work, it'll probably cause you to be hospitalised or die because that amount of pain is there to give you a firm message. 'DEAL with me or die.'

The whole thing is laughable. When Simmi sent me the original article she made the comment,
'Imagine if a man were told to use a hot water bottle for pain.... There would be fucking questions asked in Parliament...' No kidding.

It's summer, it's hot, so all pain should be less anyway now, but this morning Alex wanted to watch the film of 'Evita'. I hate musicals. This reminded me of why. I was interested in the story of the film, but the fact that everything has to be sung in cheesy lyrics makes me lose what the hell is going on. It's slow, it's painful, no amount of hot water bottles are going to help.

I wonder if they're going to waste even more money researching why good old-fashioned rumpy-pumpy relieves period pain. Now that as a general method of pain-relief might be a tad more interesting.