Conspiracy

George Dubya Bush, evil genius. Nope, doesn't sit quite right somehow, I guess it's the 'genius' bit.

I used to watch 'The X-files'. I was never particularly a David Duchovny fan, I just liked sci-fi. One time - not at Band Camp, but in France - my colleague and I had spent several hours quietening down the fifty-odd kids that we'd taken, made them go into their own rooms, camped out on the landing to catch them when they then all tried to sneak into each others' rooms. Then finally, exhausted, went to our room. We turned the TV on and it was X-Files. We watched, it's always fascinating to hear favourites dubbed into French with completely different voices. Then we discussed the next day's itinerary for five minutes and then we both looked back up at the screen and two women were having sex on the top of a car. We then had to hatch a plan to explain to parents why we had 'allowed' their kiddies to watch porn while away.

But the X-Files itself was all about conspiracies and I loved it, so I can't really claim that anyone who falls for all this conspiracy stuff is mental.

My X was a JFK buff. He was and remains, fascinated by that particular conspiracy, so there was another one that was a large part of my life for many years.

The whole idea that the Moon Landing was faked by the US government however, struck me as inane, along the lines of people seeing Elvis in Woolworths. Only the lonely could believe it, but it did produce some good thinking and science to 'prove' both that it had been a government plot to.... what? deceive the public I guess, why? because they could AND to disprove everything the conspiracy theorists had come up with. So, an interesting little intellectual exercise. I myself do my crossword every day.

In today's Guardian, we are now told that Bush conspired with the Israeli government to attack Lebanon. At least that's what the headline implies. But when we read further, it seems that 'the government' (of the US) met with Israel to discuss how to take out Hezbollah. Not the same Hezbollah, terrorist organisation that the UN had already discussed how to neutralise? Yep, one and the same. Not the same Hezbollah, partly bank-rolled by Iran who had already made several attacks on Israel? Yep, them's the ones. Not the same Iran who announced to the world around that time that 'Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth' ? Yes ma'am.
The rest of the story is mostly 'he said, she said,' type of stuff. 'Sources say' and so on.
In a hushed whisper we are told that US Special Forces have already been active inside [Iran]. Well thank God!

And the most insane conspiracy of all that I have heard recently? The US actually orchestrated the attacks on its own people on the 11th of September 2001. So then Bush again. Don't get me wrong. I think Bush harms his own people enough with his attacks on the LGBT community, by effectively dispossessing blacks, by undermining women's rights and a list as long as your arm. And yes, I KNOW he knows and consorts with members of the Bin Laden family et alia. But the World Trade Centre attrocities? Give me a break.

No, I take it back, Bush IS responsible for the 11th of September attacks, he ORDERED Israel to bomb Lebanon, he faked the moon landings and he personally asssinated JFK and he was head of programming for Canal+ in France. Because once we accept that we know the answer to all these things, we don't need to look any further, we don't need to discuss and investigate, we can just heap everything onto the head of one animal and then cut its throat.
Where have I seen this happen before? Oh yes, in Springfield. And South Park. Phew, glad we've got that one sorted.