Monday 16 January 2006

Flight

So many false starts have cured my feelings of exile, no longer fully in my Canadian life I'm now anxious to get to my British one.
At the Departure gate, the same faces, scalding adversity has melted the ice of British reserve, we're comrades now, concerned for each other. How is the man who had tummy troubles, the other who took a fall leaving the plane? Two just as I have once done, are doing the dosie-doh of transatlantic relationships.
Finally in the air, too much has occurred to feel the ache, the wrench of leaving the city. We are flying into darkness. We reach Calgary and look down on a field of French marigold lights, like the lights of Vancouver on a Monday evening as I drive across the bridge into the city.

The plane is barebones. We are cramped in old, worn, love-thy-neighbour seats. The movie is on a single screen, it isn't any of the ones promised in the magazine, Johnny English, poor colour, Portugese subtitles. The soundtrack is played over the PA so it can neither be heard nor ignored.

The food is a chicken-like substance, resembles a chicken-like substance, ALMOST resembles ... you get my drift.

Food and movie over, the cabin lights are to be dimmed so that we can sleep, except that the lights cannot be dimmed, they seem to be wrongly wired, when the attendant tries to turn them off, the reading lights come on. He stands flicking the switch on and off.
But I pop a Nytol, cover myself with a blanket and sleep until a ham roll and half a cup of lukewarm coffee is pushed at me because we are nearing Gatwick.

Gatwick has some turbulent air and it feels as though we might bounce onto the tarmac, but we do finally land. We cannot however finally get off. We must await the pleasure of her Majesty's constabulary. Rumour spreads that two passengers have been drunk. Two passengers, maybe three, are taken off the plane, the police don't seem that interested. It transpires that the three have found the in flight meals stacked in the toilet and have been taking pictures to add to everyone's list of complaints.

So I'm here, my eyes feel like those time-honoured pissholes in the snow, and I've already scoffed a Sainsbury's prawn bhuna. I'm not sure it's real yet.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

what a terrible time you had to finally get going. But you're like me -- you can just go to sleep on the plane. Which certainly helps make the time go by.
Went to see Mrs. Henderson Presents yesterday. What a terribly British play, which I totally loved. Of course I love anything Judi Dench is in. You must see it and tell me what you think.

Anonymous said...

Oddly, I seem to vaguely enjoy both hospital cafeteria food and airplane food. My understanding is that most airlines are cutting out all food. It was bad enough when they took peanuts away because of those pesky anaphalactic shock people. I know i spelled anaphalactic wrong but I'm too lazy to check.
Missed writers group tonight due to checking out an apartment or two, neither of which were suitable.
Hope you are having fun in England, if you could bring me back a Saturday Guardian (or whatever the thick one is with all those lovely inserts) I would be most appreciative. I believe they are a pound. My god your suitcase will be full of things for me. When I go to North Vancouver to see my dentist, I'll bring you a paper and a postcard.
Keep writing, I love it.
- Karen

Schneewittchen said...

Thank you both, I do intend to see Mrs. Henderson, like you Anne, I love Judi Dench. I do normally like airline food too Karen, particularly BA which is usually excellent.
When I'm looking for calendars am I looking for landscapes are art?
I will most certainly bring a Saturday Guardian,which yes, is the thick one.
Glad you're enjoying the blog :)

Anonymous said...

If you could bring me a landscape calendar that would be completely wonderful. And I will happily pay you for it if you have room for it in your luggage. Any part of England will do, but the South Coast where you are sounds like it could have some great scenery shots, if they deliver calendars there. Thank you in anticipation