Monday 27 February 2006

Catching up


Just some unconnected thoughts today. I should call them 'Pensées' like Pascal and thus give them more credence.

My friend Di sent me a picture of an 'Edward the eighth' postbox. I think that fate will have to be working overtime to give us an Edward the eighth from the present Royal Family, still, it happened that way with Henry's children, they all got to reign so who knows. If he does, then his postbox is already there in Sunningdale.

Although I do try to do spells whilst exercising, I am clearly not as skilled as my friend Simmi who has become very adept at influencing athletes by the power of thought from her sofa. I think it's my lack of real concentration. Instead of full time hexing I watch those improving shows as I have said before.
One show I watch is 'You are what you eat' and this has a tiny Scots woman who comes and abuses you into eating right. Her victims are always dead pleased in the end. Last week she almost met her match. She was faced with a large Scotswoman with a colourful vocabulary. Gillian McKeith asked her why she thought she was so overweight and the woman replied that it was because she was bulimic but she always forgot to throw up.

On a Friday, there is a programme called 'Groomed'. In this, an Aussie dressed as an English butler and inappropriately named Paul Hogan - like Crocodile Dundee - comes and sorts out the lives of other gentlemen.
Last week he was targetting a couple similar to Kevin and myself. Tamara had come over to be with her Canadian beau, Doug but he seemed oblivious to what a huge step she had taken. I must hasten to add that that particular bit is nothing like Kevin and me.
Fortunately Paul had allies to come and shout at Doug. By the end, Doug had woken up to the fact that Tamara had left her home, career, family, beloved doggies and much more to come and spend her days sitting alone in Doug's house.
Paul Hogan's take on his own success, his punchline, was 'You can't change the man you love ....... but I can.' My take on it is - very scientifically on a sample of two - wake up Canadian women, Brits are coming over and taking all your men! (That's for Karen really who could well be reading this.)

Yesterday, Karen came round and we had lunch which Kevin prepared and cooked, therefore it was yummy instead of being just eeh, then we watched last week's L-word and dissected it. We picked out three people that we thought we'd like to join our writers' group. One is Jenny who, in spite of having a publishing contract now, we reckon is really not a good writer. This is based on the fact that she has had one scene obsessively running through her head for three series - or seasons, they say seasons here and Karen and Kevin had the audacity to correct me on that, I said, 'Hey! I don't sit here and say, 'fewer, not less, fewer, a couple OF, the tenTH OF February two thousand AND six'' etc. Kevin said,
'Yes you do,' yes, I do.
Anyway, we picked Jenny because we figured she'd make us look good by being so lame herself. We picked the two women from the B52's because they looked like fun.

Yesterday my daughter Alex was talking to Kevin on the phone trying to sort out details of her visit in the summer. She asked him whether it was possible to cross Canada by bus.
'Sure,' he said.
'How long would it take?' she asked,
'Oh I dunno, about seven days,' he said. Sound of jaw hitting floor from other end. A lot of people simply don't get how big Canada is. A lot more people would if Shaw would allow me to send on the amazing set of pictures that my friend Anne has sent me. I prepared an e-mail entitled 'This is where I live' but my isp will not comply. Only Simmi has so far received them and that through msn.
Douglas Adams once wrote that Canada is like a beautiful intelligent 35 year old woman. I think the 35 was supposed to indicate a degree of maturity but not too mature. Canada really isn't that old. Older than 35 of course, but she is big and she is beautiful and this IS where I live.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can I join your group? One session would do. I just want to bitch slap some sense in to Jenny! Or you could 'Happy Slap' her and send me footage, I'm not fussy.

Simmi

Schneewittchen said...

Haha! We'd have to anyway because she'd just sit there with that beatific look on her face and say wet things. She'd have to get the virtual fork. OR...we could webcast to you and you could make her fall over with yer powers hmm?

Anonymous said...

I bet her spelling is shite too!