Friday 3 February 2006

Cover

Austen had rung in the day and asked me half-jokingly if I wanted to go into school and make some money. Staff were dropping like flies and the supply agency couldn't send them anyone because another school had 23 staff out sick. Cover - that's the absolute bane of any teacher's life in the UK. You can think you've planned out your day, your non-teaching time will be filled to the brim with non-teaching activities and then, bam, you lose them to cover someone else's lesson. The government has tried to ease this pressure, introduced unassailable planning and preparation time, but it hasn't really tried hard enough and the spectre remains. I didn't go in, it was halfway through the day and I know what it entails, full on conflict, blow that for a game of soldiers, also, I'm trying to get some money back from the tax office and had promised them I wouldn't be working in the UK for the rest of the tax year.

At toddler group this morning, there was a baby called Elliot. This reminded me of a child of the same name I used to teach. He always referred to me as Satan. Usually, if you ignore these things they go away, but this time it got worse. There was another group of kids who would hum the Darth Vadar theme whenever they saw me coming along the corridor. That one had to be ignored, in fact it made life easier for me because I didn't have to try so hard at being nasty. I sent a letter to Elliot's mother. She came in to see me, very apologetic, but also unable to not laugh. She promised that Elliot would stop calling me Satan. She said that I was the only person who had ever managed to teach Elliot any French at all, I told her it was one of Satan's abilities.

I have in mind a number of jobs I'd rather do than teaching. I would like to present a Canadian version of 'Most Haunted'. Not that I have any hankering whatsoever after being a TV presenter, although I would look ghastly in red leather trousers just like Yvette Fielding does, but I fancy the idea of making a living from bothering ghosts in haunted houses. I mean investigating paranormal activity.
Another thing I'd like to try my hand at would be being Governor General of Canada. I think the Queen's representative should be me rather than someone else. I could then whine more publicly about the lack of good chocolate and I'd serve a lot of Indian food at state functions, have people mutter darkly about the days of the Raj. I wouldn't like the hat wearing part of the job so much, but I'd make the sacrifice. I'd also consider it my duty to keep prodding Stephen Harper, always referring to myself as 'we' when speaking to him.

So today is my last day in Portsmouth. My journey home begins today, early evening. In spite of the fact that I will be travelling from Heathrow on Monday - the London airport that IS somewhere near London - I will be going up to town on Saturday as well. Sunday will be down time with Alex, Ben and Laurence, making sure I have everything packed.
I do hope immigration Canada haven't been reading my blog and will let me back in in spite of my megalomaniac tendencies.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

your blog won't let me comment on your more recent post. the Guardian! Bless you!
Thank god you are coming back. None of my other friends is as obsessed with popular culture and knows the trivia that has no use in real life! How can they not? If you like playing Scrabble we'll be all set. Good luck on the plane ride back - hopefully it will be a decent movie. Maybe it will be an L-Word marathon or something equally as important.
Come back! Karen