Saturday 18 February 2006

Saturday blues.

Pressed for time today because it's not a normal Saturday, not a stay in bed, watch a bit of TV, bond with the duvet kind of Saturday. I don't really relish the kind of Saturday it is.

One of Kevin's family, a venerable lady of 88 has hit a wall, figuratively speaking. At Christmas, she was just herself, just like anyone else, taking part in the conversations, hell, more than that, because of her age and experience she could always contribute far more to the conversations than anyone else. Unlike Kevin's parents, fourth generation Canadian, Barb had arrived in Canada in the 40's, on the Queen Mary I think, but yet again, I have left it too late to check, to have conversations with her with a notebook in my hand and my memory is, well, not first class.

A couple of weeks ago she was taken into hospital and now time has stopped for her. I don't mean that she has died, but she is trapped in a timeless place somehow. Of course one always hopes that she will be able to come back, that time will start again, but that probably isn't going to happen.

Today we are going to her home, getting a few things that will ease her into her new surroundings, residential care. Kevin's family have dealt with this whole situation with a great deal of love and care, but it brings back so much misery to me. Neither of my parents' marbles were compromised towards the end, but their physical ability to cope was. We seemed to be in a maze from which there was no exit. The exit in the end was their passing, but the whole thing still haunts me.

I'm only qualified to speak for what happens in Britain, but we don't care for our seniors properly. I believe we are still at a place where the passing from one world to the next, however long that takes, is done as crisis management. We as a people need to put as much thought and care into the life experience of seniors as they approach the end of their lives, as we put into helping our people to begin their lives.
Here endeth the first lesson, but only because I haven't even begun to think of a solution yet.

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