Saturday 20 January 2007

Annexation

I have quite forgotten what I was going to blog about. Sleepy sent me an absolutely brilliant David and Goliath-type news story.

The hero of the story, Declan Purcell, felt he had been unfairly charged £3,400 on his business account and approached the bank to rethink. They refused, so he took them to court and won. But they still didn't pay up, so the court issued a warrant granting permission for the Bailiffs to go in and seize goods to the value of the moneys owed. This they did. Oddly, when the Bailiffs were standing there with four computers, two fax machines and a till full of cash, the Bank's manager suddenly realised the error of his or her ways.

Now Mr. Purcell is most certainly a modern-day hero. What a bloke. This is the kind of thing the British absolutely love, I fear no come-back from that sweeping generalisation, it appeals to us very deeply.

What an example. Now again, Sleepy and I have discussed this, and we both think this is a great idea.

Remember how when gold was found in them there hills of BC and US prospectors decided that, well, let's just own BC then?
Remember how the US was judged to have unfairly taxed Canadian softwood lumber and was told to pay Canada $4 billion and they just keep on arguing about it?

So this is what we've decided. Following Mr. Purcell's fine example, we are going to send not the troops, but the Bailiffs in. And what we fancy is Seattle. So we'll take Seattle, fly the Maple Leaf above the entire city and just...well, own it.

So that's sorted then. Fortunately none of my friends in the US live in Seattle, although, actually it might make it easier if they did. The US is insisting that all its citizens now have passports in order to get back into the States. It turns out that only about a quarter of US Americans have passports. If you listen to the rumble , there is a lot of confusion about this, it comes across as though it's Canada that is insisting that US Americans have passports to cross the border, but not so.

SO, listen up Seattle, get your city sorted, and by that I mean kick Isaiah Washington into touch, we don't want homophobes in Canada, I'm sure we probably have some of our own, but he's out.

Prepare to be boarded muahahahahahaha!

7 comments:

Sleepy said...

I know someone in Seattle!!
Mara, brace yourself babe!!

Schneewittchen said...

I mean them no harm, I come in peace, just intend to install a few Tim Horton's coffee shops.
We can go and visit Mara when you come to visit! It's only a two hour drive.

Sleepy said...

Excellent!
She's a Professor at the University and a brilliant laugh!

Schneewittchen said...

Aha, you've struck on one of the two education-related North-Americanisms that I always double-take on.
The first one is when they say they are going to school when they mean uni, I haven't yet worked out what they say when they actually mean going to school as in school.

The second one is calling all the lecturers Professor. It's weird, what do they call the actual Professor? 'Professor number 1?' 'Top Cat'? 'S/he who occupies the Chair'? I think we should be told....

Sleepy said...

I think she is the Professor because she is top dog!

Schneewittchen said...

Ok, but you know that she is THE professor because you know her. But if you met one of her underlings, they would also be introduced to you as 'Professor Underling' so if you didn't know Mara, how would you know that she had the Chair of her department?

Sleepy said...

Ah! Right.. I see your point.