Eight Maids A-Milking

Happy New Year. Good thing there's not some St. Swithin's Day rule about the weather on New Year's Day because if there were, we might as well start building an Arc right now. And while I'm happying, a very Happy Birthday to my friend Eilish and that's from Kev too.

We celebrated chez nous last night, and I was pleased to do so, Kevin had made a wonderful turkey dinner and our friends that we had loosely planned to go out with were suffering jetlag so we stayed in.

I spoke to all the kids, Austen and Sue at just after midnight GMT, then Ben at just after midnight our time. He sounded very rough. Later on in the day, Alex phoned, having returned from celebrating the New Year in London with apparently 349,999 other people. She too sounded rough, but not so much hungover as erkältet. For some reason we don't seem to have the word 'encoldened' in English.

Today we went out for a walk and I realised I really had turned into my parents. They always made us go for walks in the country over the Christmas period. Did we relish these? Not for a moment. But this Christmas, having gotten to the point where I no longer feel the need to overeat, what I have been aware of has been too much sitting around. It's nice to hunker down, but best after walkies.

So my eight maids a-milking. I am getting pretty hung up on this song now. I'm sure there must be some meaning to it all. Of course from googling I managed to find some churchified interpretation, but it just didn't ring true. But I can't get away from this idea that it must mean something, the first seven are all different birds apart from the appearance of five gold rings, then the last five are all people. Hmmm...I don't know.

In the absence of any solution I decided that my eight maids would be my favourite gay guys of the year. I don't care if I'm buying into the stereotype, I love 'em.

In previous years I would have to have included the Fab Five, but they haven't been much in evidence this year except Carson Kressley who has been in an ad for Special K. He was always my favourite anyway but in my chart here I'm afraid he creeps in at number eight.

At number seven is the actor Alec Mapa who has played not one but two great gay characters this past year, the deportment teacher in 'Desperate Housewives', and Ari's assistant in 'Entourage'.

Number Six has to be Doogie Howser, well, no that's silly, I mean the actor Neil Patrick Harris. His character Barney Stinson in 'How I met your Mother' is the opposite of gay, but Neil himself came out in 2006.


In my number five slot is a bit of a crossover. The gay brother in 'Six Feet Under' was my absolute favourite TV character from this year, 'Dexter'. Dexter himself isn't gay, at least he isn't really anything, but he's certainly trying hard to be straight. I still think there's a gay edge. Alright, I know I cheated with that one.

The sole reason that Daffyd Thomas is only number four is that he has been such a storming gay for three years now. He is the very best thing in an already stellar series. I will miss him horribly, I hope he gets his own spinoff, if only to squeeze his little fat bod into those eye-popping outfits.

The stupendously wonderful nephew in 'Ugly Betty' is my absolute fave pretend queen for this year. Played by 12-year-old Mark Indelicato he just makes an already brilliant series for me.

In both the number one and two slots are Colin and Justin. I love them, I love all their campness and posturing, I love all the in-your-face gayness about them that I know others detest, but I have seen so much of them this year that I feel they are part of the family. If they both walked in one night and asked what's for tea, I wouldn't be taken aback, but if they painted my wall plaid - our love might not last.