Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Miracle and Wonder

These are the days of miracle and wonder.
Laurence's dad went out and bought the Paul Simon album 'Graceland' that that track was on, after Laurence's birth. And it must have seemed like that when you've witnessed your first child being born.
But the downside of miracle and wonder is freakish pain and suffering. From my end, of course I was glad it was over and that I had my second child, but labour, in many ways, is misnamed. Not that you don't have to work, but basically, it's about suffering. I suppose that,
'My partner's going into suffering now,' smacks of ordeal and you don't want women to catch on.

On Monday, I went in to visit my friend, whose own suffering had now gone on for over a week, and wasn't going to end in a birth, only to find her eyes open, focussing and completely awake and aware. But for the tube still going into her lungs, she would have been able to talk.
So what's the downside of this miracle? Well, of course, she was still attached to all the machines, and her heart is in worse shape than when she went in, so the downside might be that she's conscious and can go through the whole ordeal all over again.
I came back on Monday afternoon, full of the joys of miracle and wonder, but by Monday evening, I was weepy again, fearful once more of that sense of loss.

Oh the bitter fruit of the tree of cynicism.

1 comment:

Sleepy said...

While she's lucid is anyone getting HER to reiterate the DNR to the doctor and nurses??
Preferably, in front of her kids?