If for some reason you feel it necessary to have a sign up in the back of your unstable, environmentally unsound SUV that says 'Baby on Board', you'd better not drive like one. I'm assuming here that a baby would drive as though she or he couldn't see over the steering wheel or read road signs or realise that there were other people on the planet.If you work in a bank, you need to make connections. A paycheque is something that is issued by the place you work at, so please don't ask me stupid questions like,
'Is your son's paycheque from his work?' because that arouses in me an uncontrollable urge to patronise you.
If you are travelling to a different city in the rush hour for a school programme, and you happen to know that all of your class are hyperactive in the extreme, if you only allow the amount of time it would take to get there at say three o'clock in the morning, then you will arrive at least 25 minutes late and if you furthermore decide to make a detour to a pumpkin patch, don't tell anyone because they will be even more pissed off at you.
If you are going to ask a favour of someone, don't piss them off bigtime first.
If you are gay and live in the Republic of Ireland, the good news is that if you want to get married and your partner is a British citizen, then you can go and tie the civil knot at the British Embassy. Though personally, I still find it rather odd to think that there are British Embassies in Ireland. I suppose I have difficulty differentiating between Great Britain and the British Isles.
If you are anyone on the planet whatsoever, best to avoid Heather Mills McCartney. I should probably have taken my own advice and not mentioned her.
4 comments:
I hate the 'Baby On Board' tossers, thrusting their fertility down my throat! So What? Drive like a twat you will crash, with or without the baby.
Perhaps the Hamster would have been saved his ordeal if he had Baby on Board stuck to his jet propelled car?
Come on Schnee.... We both know people who deliberately turn up late for the hectic lessons, so that the MORE hectic can piss off before their arrival!
Well, good timing. I am teaching my morning students the first conditional.
If you are going to obsess about an annoying co-worker, be sure to blow it all out of proportion.
If you are skipping a writers' group meeting to go to a community meeting, be sure to go to the community meeting. oops.
If you are going to adopt an African baby, make sure the father knows what adoption means.
And finally, if you are going to get us addicted to the L-Word, Ilene Chalken, stop the 10-month hiatuses between seasons.
there.
- Karen
If, you are going to have a package that needs signing for, be fucking home to claim it.
I'm not storage or the Post Person.
Fecking neighbours.
If you swear at your children, don't look horrified when they swear back at you. (Woman on the Loser Cruiser, you know who you are!)
If, you are going to admit to being a HUGE L-Word fan, admit that you have considered shagging a woman!
If, you are going to have a package that needs signing for, be fucking home to claim it.
I'm not storage or the Post Person.
Fecking neighbours.
If you swear at your children, don't look horrified when they swear back at you. (Woman on the Loser Cruiser, you know who you are!)
If, you are going to admit to being a HUGE L-Word fan, admit that you have considered shagging a woman!
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