Tuesday, 3 October 2006

Arsey

I got a bit arsey this morning.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm living between the dimensions, slightly out of phase, there are aliens who have this problem in some episodes of Star Trek Next Generation. I doubt that Jean-Luc will come and rescue me though.

I realised that it was about time I became a bit proactive and started putting my CV about a bit. My CV looks a bit heavy on the education though, so I had carefully added what I thought my transferable skills were.

Last Friday I took my CV into Manpower, since I am familiar with the Manpower Services Commission from Britain. In reality, I should be having no truck with an organisation that calls itself Man anything, but I did.
'Oh,' they said, seemingly delighted, 'can you come in for a three hour intensive interview next week, and could you leave your Resume with us?'

This morning I went in. They had already lost my CV and insisted on calling me Christine.
'What's your last name Christine?' said a second woman, who may it seems have had and misplaced my CV. I corrected her.
'I'll just have one more look,' said the first woman, looking in the file under 'C'.
'Maybe if you looked under 'J' for Janis?' I suggested. Not there either.

They put me in a room with a video. First of all I had to fill in a form, some of which made sense, some of which didn't, and which duplicated the information on my CV which they had lost.
I wondered why they hadn't offered me anything, water, coffee, toilet, air in the room. Woman one put the video on and closed the door. It was hot in the room, and stuffy. The video was about customer services as performed by people wearing 70's clothes and hairstyles.
'Ho hum,' thought I.
Then there was a second video on hazardous chemicals. I watched it for a while, mostly zoned out, thinking, any moment now, this will become relevant. I went out into the main office to tell the women I thought they had given me the wrong video.
'No, no,' they assured me, 'that's the right one.' I wondered about the protocol of getting my library book out but decided against it mainly because by now I had a headache.
There was a worksheet about the video.

I was taken into another room with computers. By now, woman number two had memorised my name.
I was tested on copying, using spreadsheets and using Word. Oh and colouring in. No, sadly not the colouring in. The Excel test was partly beyond my Excel-using skills, even though I have used it a lot, but the Word one was ok. I had to stop halfway and ask to use the toilet. Guess what ? You had to be given a key, one on a pink holder for the women's loo, I assumed the one with the blue holder was for the men's.

Then I went out into the main office for a 'structured interview'. The woman asked me whether the details I had written on the form were correct. I managed to stop myself from retorting that no, all my details had changed since two hours ago.
She asked me whether I liked working in a small, medium or large office. I didn't care.
She asked me whether I prefered a casual, professional or business work environment. I asked her what that meant. She said it was about codes of dress. I asked her what the difference was between professional and business dress. She couldn't answer.

What did I feel were my most useful skills.
'Dealing with the public and speaking French.'
She asked me what type of job, ideally, I liked to do.
'One where I boss people around,' I said. She didn't smile, she didn't ask me what I meant by that, or whether I was feeling ok, she simply carried on typing.
'Is there any type of work environment you like to avoid?' she said,
'A male dominated one,' I replied, 'I suppose that's a bit of a handicap,' I joked. She just carried on typing.
Maybe I shouldn't have been arsey. Maybe I should have played the game right to the end. But I wasn't feeling like it anymore. There was never any point where anyone was interested in finding out what I had to offer. Not really. I gave a lot of pointers that had I been on the other side of the desk, I would have explored.

Creative differences I guess.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This all brings back horrible memories that I have spent years trying to forget. Now that they've surfaced again, I'll be forced to buy an ice tray and chew some ice.
The pink ghetto. I've been in and out of it for almost 20 years. 20 years ago it wasn't as bad as it has become. These - um, "recruiters" that you experienced are all pretty much like what you experienced. Skirts, nylons, glued on hair. No sense of humour or sense of anything. They are some of the most condescending people alive that I have experienced.
"I type 90 wpm," I would say, "I am also a brain surgeon and have personally saved the lives of 82 people, including the pope and Bob Bin Laden. oh and I split an atom just this morning. Here it is in this little jar here."
"Uh huh," the recruiter would say,"but do you know excel?"
It's literally almost that bad. Aargh.
Go back and give em hell.

Anonymous said...

I was once asked "What flavor would your classroom be?" I asked, "What do you mean--as in ice-cream?" To the woman's nod, I replied vanilla. I knew I didn't get the job, and gave up caring if I did, at that point. Dawn

Anonymous said...

I rather enjoy job interviews as I see it as a rare situation where I am actually encouraged to talk about myself ad nauseum.

The other A level guy is Julian but I don't know about rocket science. That year (2001) he then went on to university and just took his Masters he said.

Anonymous said...

OMG, Janis, too funny of a post. I'm glad you got all arsey and didn't play the game - you would not have felt good about yourself. I worked as a temp once. Pretty humiliating job. I had no skills (for these types of jobs anyways) so was always putting together folders or answering phones. I got called back to one job answering phones several times because I also managed to finish the filing, something no other temp had managed to do. The filing took one hour of my two days work and was actually a welcome reprieve from playing yet another game of solitaire. If you've got more than 2 brain cells to rub together, temp work may not be your thing. Then again, your chances of getting a job via temp work (which I managed to do) is much higher if you actually have this rare thing called a work ethic.