Friday 5 September 2008

Stranger

Deep breath.

Sometimes I can hear Dexter's voice in my head, but it isn't telling me to murder bad people. It's just... when you get introspective, it's like you're looking out through the windows of your body, seeing the world from further away. And then the thoughts which normally flow in voiceless form through your head, become actual words and you realise that Dexter is muttering them.

Ok, now I've made myself sound like a serial killer, but in truth, I feel like a stranger in a foreign landscape and no, not because I'm a Brit living in Canada, no, because of the website again, if only Kafka had had to maintain a website, he wouldn't have thought about turning into a bug. But it's like being the only person who doesn't speak the language, and at the same time having to run a business.

An irrelevant aside, but yesterday, in Ikea, I swear two people were speaking Klingon.

The blog is free and it does more things than I even need, so if I ever want to do them, there they are, waiting.
The website at work is cheap and impenetrable. It doesn't do the things I want to do. I change the font, but it refuses to change. I try to put in a picture and it won't upload. Somehow it chokes itself on its own code.
There's no-one to ask, literally no-one. It's like being a pirate and not able to navigate your ship. You can't flag down the Navy and ask for tips. The society I work for runs alongside the city, but to be able to have any autonomy we have to avoid their website and thus their techies.

I open up the html view and prod. I think I know what's what until I don't. I see whole pages of code that have no meaning, none at all, I wonder, if I delete them would it make any difference at all, so I do, and it doesn't.

Pucker organisations spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on their websites. They have actual web designers and whatnot.
Our organisation just has me and my UK teaching level ICT, prodding and poking at it between programmes in a dark corner by the snake tank.

Fortunately, no-one reads it anyway.

4 comments:

Sleepy said...

Bizarrely, there we people in the Marlborough Waitrose who sounded like the Swedish chef!

Schneewittchen said...

Oh! And I heard Swedes in Ikea too! (Although to be fair, they could have been any brand of Scandi)

Sleepy said...

I've downloaded the 'Dexter' theme tune from itunes.
It's now one of my favourite 'cooking' tunes as well as my ring tone!

Schneewittchen said...

Yes, it does seem to go particularly well with that breakfast cooking intro.